The Prologue:
As luck would have it, the 21st Century’s greatest necromancers - have risen to spread their reign of terror over the world...
...To create famine and drought…
The necromancer felt society was responsible for their dastardly doings, he had been shunned and ridiculed. Of course, everyone else thought he was half insane, but that didn’t stop The Darkness. They had no code of ethics…
Not One, but Two! - typical atrocities included…
…and a sequel…
Two men who will go down in history, and hell as well, were just a pair of really nice boys who just happened to serve the wrong demon overlord…
They couldn’t be beat, possessing otherworldly powers and abilities - villains that personified death...
...The Darkness, no one else’s but ours...
The Beginning:
(Achilles)
A dyke’s juice dripping off the umbilical
Like Zeus kicking off some sort of mythical
Pitiful, kissing, stripping for the unwashed
Terrible, dire cost
The worst hated gods who perpetrated plagues
And Hades’ shades carrying blades
They’re cursed but dated though not yet sated
A manic-ed, panicked, serrated charade
(Achilles), dizzy, hit a lick
Outside a bar, a hilt in a brick
Quick Steel, old sword
Long ignored, sweet reward
Inner (enter), (a) city street
Monsters, glizzies, packing heat
Most leave, concede defeat
But A chilly(‘s) hour,
Close, but new graves and flowers
Beasts increased, mercury (Mercury)-deadly
Now deceased, like Freddie
Lightning Mother:
Lightning, never twice struck
Frightening, now, only ten is luck(y)
Thunderous zap and yow, the Lightning Mother’s back from hell
A blunderbuss, and another spell
Seven heads, eleven eyes
Heaven’s lead, leveling guys
Borderline schizo, sort of fine, uh, lips though
Quarter to nine, floor the fine, water and wine, hour to dine
Achilles, act quickly, greet neatly
Attack sweetly, “I think she likes me”
Lightning, never spiced up
Brightening, now, when only love(ly)
Wonderous clap and wow, the Lightning Mother’s back to tell
A generous, grand, smothering quell
Seven heads, eleven eyes
Heaven’s head, lucky Achilles.
King G-Dora:
King G, never one to back down
Or up, lest he be clowning around
How did Achilles, skinny, weak
Shimmy int-a Lightning’s meats?
King G, sights been set
(On) ahead (a head), smite, clean a threat
Informant, dormant till now
Morning, then hard hitting pow
Then Lightning, what’s up?, anyhow
(how) Exciting, strut, fresh cut
…
Quit it, go and get it
Grit it, lay low and set it
Dawn, where he at?
Darn, hair be - POW!
Splat.
King G, heads on pikes
Dead, yikes.
The Magnificent:
On the (tha) path ahead:
“Beware! Beast of dread
Yonder (Yon-da), leave instead”
No monster staying a threat
No longer breaking a sweat
An old man stood in the rain
Said “Oh man”, hooded restrain
“Refrain, or sustain flaming pain”
‘vice taken
slight’ shaken
But then The Magnificent!
Deflowerer of innocents!
The flowering omnipotent!
You stand no chance
I demand, don’t advance
You misunderstand, leave or I-I’ll
-I have business to attend for a while!
Bistro:
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the
Styx Bistro Bed and Breakfast Bar and Grill
Cafe Lounge, with views over our lovely river.
Where we offer you the finest of the finer things,
No obol needed, free of charge,
For the rest of your times here.
Entertainment, live, we have Prince G-Dora,
No, not that greaseball,
The Terrific, with Tartarus’ top tunes,
And a final gig from The Eye before he gets called up
We’d like to congratulate Lightning on her recent engagement,
And Morpheus’ new special, straight from the River Lethe.
Just lay back, have a good time
Enjoy the music...
All Seeing Eye of Darkness:
A real Sauron,
Mind sucking,
Leaving you a moron,
War on
The normal people
Turning cities into fecal
Evil
Or that’s what they say
Before they gave the okay
For a “Bomb’s away!”
Good
What do you say,
No need to fight, okay?
Now let’s just walk away...
Meta Critic:
Har har, but I’m the Metal Cricket
Rupture rhymes like a hydrolysate
What an amateur, you need a janitor
Reading this feels like a catheter
Is this a parody?
Doom must be lightened by your hilarity.
Your Beginning is dimming,
Lightning isn’t clicking,
King G’s a little different,
But the whole thing’s a “Magnificent”!
Hm, a D at best
Ha! Joking, I jest!
To say with respect
As an Iron-clad insect,
This is the worst thing I’ve ever seen, I need that River Lethe drink now.
Morpheus:
Drunk on the Lethe
Late to work and fast asleep
I’ll just tiptoe around…
“NO!
Behold Ol’ Morpheus!
Notorious for his slick, glorious
-hic- victorious… ness…
zzzzz”
DEATH:
Approaching the throne
Through a long stone path
Unknown bones littered and thrown
Cyclones of dust blown
“Finally, Achilles, we meet.
I am your ultimate enemy.
A noble fight has been destined now
Neither of us will leave untested, I doubt.”
Swords unsheathed, clinking on tiles
A fiery rage, roars ringing for miles
Fatal spear after fatal strike,
Faster and harder than the mortal eye.
“Ugh, close, Achilles!
Truly, an equal to battle me!
These are our final stands and poses
Here, can you outlast my blows?”
A most climactic exchange
Both, afraid to be tamed,
But finally, Death came.
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